10. Dexter
This show won me over just reading its premise. A killer with heart? Like House, except he’s a murderer instead of an asshole. The constant plot twists the writers come up with are great, and they constantly challenge themselves by putting Dexter into strange situations and forcing the character to deal with other people. I love how dedicated the writers are to creating engaging, original story-lines that draw people in. Also, the marketing campaigns for this show are some of the best I’ve seen.

9. Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson
Ferguson is better than any late night talk show host out there, including Letterman, Leno, Conan O’Brien. Why he hasn’t been promoted yet is beyond me. He’s hilarious, his interviews with guests are genuinely entertaining (none of that pre-scripted BS on certain other talk shows), he’s intelligent, he’s a writer, and who can resist his fantastic accent?

8. The Daily Show/The Colbert Report
I hate lumping these two together because they are two very different shows, but I usually watch them together, one after the other. What I love about them both is how unflinchingly honest they are about pretty much everything. Both Stewart and Colbert have no qualms about pointing out failings in any political party, which is more than most regular news stations can say. The result is the most accurate view of the political landscape to be found on TV. I’d vote for either Stewart or Colbert for president.

7. How I Met Your Mother
This is the only sitcom that has managed to get me watching regularly. Originally I was only watching for Neil Patrick Harris as Barney Stinson, a womanizing jerk, but gradually I began to love the other characters as well. Ted’s pretentious doucheiness has been getting a lot more endearing lately, as have Marshall and Lily, who’s relationship is almost sickeningly sweet. The show is known for making details only mentioned in passing in past episodes the focal points of later episodes, which I love. While the show has been faltering a bit this season, I have faith that the writers will get back to the original story, which is Ted telling his kids the story of how he came to meet their mother.

6. House
I put this on here mainly because of Hugh Laurie’s starring role as Gregory House, M.D.  He is, in my opinion, one of if not THE best actor working on TV right now. It could have been so easy to just make the character a grumpy asshole and be done with it, but what Laurie’s done is add layers to the character. He’s a flawed person, but he has heart. That, I think, is what keeps people watching. The season 5 opener, with House serving a sting in a psychiatric hospital, was one of the best episodes of TV I’ve EVER seen and just proves why Laurie is the one that carries the show. Special mention goes to Robert Sean Leonard, who plays House’s best friend Wilson and plays so well off Laurie that you get the feeling half of their dialogue on the show has been ad-libbed.

5. 24
One of the most revolutionary shows of the decade, both for its content and its format. Each episode takes place in “real” time, meaning that the events of every episode span 60 minutes’ time, adding up to 24 hours in a day in the life of Jack Bauer. Aside from engaging lead Kiefer Sutherland, the show has a knack for picking fantastic guest stars and supporting actors, and arrived just when America’s interest in terrorism had peaked (around the time of 9/11).

4. Chuck
Like Firefly, Chuck is a great blend of two genres: comedy and drama. The titular character is that everyday guy, kinda nerdy but really nice, and is played by Zach Levi to perfection. The other two main characters, Sarah (Chuck’s main love interest, played by Yvonne Strahovski) and Casey (played by Adam Baldwin, a Firefly alumn!) play off Chuck well. It’s one of the smartest shows on TV, and the constant geeky references and fantastic musical choices make this show one of my favorites of all time.

(the next three shows are pretty much tied; tough to rank them because of how different they are.)

3. Mad Men
To be honest, it took a while to get into this show, and I originally kept watching just for the great fashion (whoever is the costume designer on the show deserves a HUGE raise). I soon realized, though, that this was only because Mad Men is not a plot-based show at all. It’s all about the characters, and is so realistic that it can drag sometimes, as real life so often does, and gets very uncomfortable to watch at some points. Lead Jon Hamm, playing advertising exec Don Draper, is fantastic, as is January Jones as his wife Betty Draper, Elizabeth Moss as Peggy, and my favorite, Christina Hendricks commanding the screen as Joan Holloway. It’s the characters that eventually engaged me in the show, and it very quickly became must-watch TV.

2. Firefly
Sadly short-lived but still beloved by many (it’s in the Top 20 bestselling DVD’s on Amazon.com, years after it concluded its run), this is the sci-fi show to beat them all. Joss Whedon constructed an entirely new universe (the ‘verse, as the characters call it), incorporating Asian, Western, and sci-fi elements into it and creating something brand new but familiar at the same time. I think that’s because, as he himself has said many times, the show was about real people going through the common things that real people do; getting jobs, making money, and trying to live with each other. The space ships and different planets are merely a distraction and make for some pretty backgrounds while the show dealt with more pressing character issues. Also, no bad CGI aliens is always a plus.

LOST
Probably the best sci-fi show on TV right now, LOST has dared to go where no other sci-fi show has gone before in many areas. Through five consistently great seasons, it has experimented shamelessly with its format (present-day interspersed with flashbacks and later in the show, flashforwards), killed off much-beloved characters for the sake of story, and the cinematography (the show is shot on location in Hawaii) and musical score by Michael Giacchino (Star Trek, Up) just contribute to the show’s overall appeal. It’s the characters, however, that make the show what it is and not just another sci-fi show. One of the only TV shows that has gotten me to cry, and that’s mainly because of how attached I’ve become to so many of the characters (see: finale, Seasons 1, 2, 3, 4, 5).

What’s most frustrating is that so many plot-lines were left unresolved. Including but not limited to:

• Simon and Kaylee’s relationship
• Mal and Inara; her leaving the ship
• Book’s past
• Jayne’s childhood
• What was done to River at her “school;” the “Hands of Blue”
• Zoe’s desire to have a baby

Hopefully some of this is addressed in the film. I know there are comics too; I’ll have to check that out.

Firefly’s always talked about in almost reverent terms, despite its cancellation – people look at it as one of the greatest canceled shows of all time, and now I see why. I still can’t believe it wasn’t given at least a full season. I’m pretty sure this show is part of the reason FOX renewed Joss Whedon’s latest show, Dollhouse, despite its ridiculously low ratings – no one wanted a repeat of Firefly. So at least it’s changed things even if it’s not on anymore. At least it lives on in the thousands and thousands of fans it’s gained since its cancellation (see: Amazon.com ranking). At least Nathan Fillion dressed up as Mal for Halloween on his new show Castle.

The show is staying in the public consciousness. Who knows? It could come back.

That’s what I’ll keep telling myself.

This episode was NOT meant to be the last episode of the series, and so I’m going to attempt to judge it not as a finale but as a standalone episode. That being said, it will be difficult doing just that because there is so much left unfinished– so many things that I could tell were going to be expanded upon in future episodes. And it is an utter travesty that those future episodes never came to be. What the hell, FOX. What the hell.

All moping aside, this episode ranks up there with my favorites of the series, and it proves once and for all that the true value of the show is not in its unique sci-fi/western theme, but in the characters and how they develop throughout its too-short fourteen episode run. “Objects in Space” focused on River, and her relationship with all the crew. Simple plot (common in many Firefly episodes) involving a bounty hunter (a homage to Boba Fett?), Jubal Early, managing to board Serenity and attempting to capture River. Early is my favorite of the show’s many psycho villains, due mostly to his personality; equal parts brilliant, insane, brutal, and strange. His scene with Kaylee was the most chilling. When he asked her, in all seriousness, “Have you ever been raped?” I really thought he’d do it, and so did she (her reaction was downright disturbing– great acting by Jewel Staite there). His philosophizing was interesting, and his interactions with  Simon, Kaylee, and Inara were just odd. To Simon: “They make psychiatrists get psychoanalyzed before they can get certified, but they don’t make a surgeon get cut on. That seem right to you?” To Inara: “Man is stronger by far than woman, yet only woman can create a child. Does that seem right to you?” He seems to see a lot of injustice in the world, and is fixated on things being “fair,” almost like a child. Judging by how River completely took him apart at the end, something happened in his childhood to make him like this. The last shot of the episode, showing him alive and careening through space, saying “Well, here I am,” was an odd choice of final scene, but it seems obvious to me that the writers were intending to bring him back in future episodes, and were trying to get viewers to wonder what would happen to him. It worked on me, but now we’ll never know.

On to the best part of the episode: the opening scene. River walks in on Simon sharing some story from his old life with Kaylee, and suddenly he looks at her and says, “I would be there right now,” with the unspoken words being very obviously, “if it weren’t for you.” I didn’t quite understand what was going on here until River moves on to the kitchen area, where she encounters Jayne and Book talking about sex. Jayne turns to her and says oddly, “I got stupid; the money was too good,” referring, of course, to his betrayal on Ariel, and suddenly it all comes together: she’s hearing their thoughts, and that is finally confirmation that she is something like psychic. Also, Jayne still feels guilty about Ariel. That’s not all, though; immediately after this, Book growls, “I don’t give half a hump if you’re innocent or not. So where does that put you?” This is probably the strangest part of a very strange episode, and again, it was meant to be a teaser for information that had yet to be revealed about Book’s backstory. It’s hard to make sense of the line, and I’m not entirely sure what it means, but he said it so cruelly, so roughly– so uncharacteristically for him that I’m willing to bet even more than before that his background isn’t entirely as innocent as he’s been letting on. His knowledge of guns, him always being shown working out– Jayne and Book may have more in common then they think, and I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the writers have been showing these two in each other’s company so often lately.

The scene progresses as she leaves the room, catches Zoe and Wash making out, feels some kind of wave of emotion from them, and then moves on and encounters Mal and Inara arguing about her decision last episode to leave the ship. She runs from them, and in her haste steps on something, bends down, and finds a twig. This cuts to a beautiful overhead shot of her as she is crouching in the middle of the cargo hold floor, which is covered in leaves and branches. The shot is silent and peaceful for a few seconds, and then cuts to the crew panicking. A slow pan over to River reveals that what she is holding is actually a gun. This entire sequence is shot and edited masterfully, and is just amazing to watch. It’s finally some insight into what goes on inside River’s head, and it was so effective that I really felt for River when she ran from what looked like the entire crew shouting at her, yelling, “It’s getting very, very crowded!” There are so many ways that can be interpreted– it is quiet and peaceful in her head, as evidenced by this entire scene, and it could be she meant the thoughts of everyone else were intruding on hers. It could also have meant the room itself, and that she felt overwhelmed by being the center of attention. From watching the entire episode, she may have meant too that the ship itself was getting crowded for everyone, and that she felt herself the cause of it.

This is all just speculation, but the brilliance of the show’s writing is that so many possible meanings can be read into even a fleeting phrase. Case in point: the last line of the episode before the strange cut to Early. River, staring at the game she’s playing with Inara, says determinedly, “I can win this.” Yeah, it could be she’s just talking about the game. But it’s also an optimistic statement about her future– that she can beat whatever it is that’s keeping her from being entirely normal. It’s a perfect, positive but not cheesy way to end off a perfect season of a perfect show.

Thoughts:

• Continuity awesomeness: Wash’s dinosaurs, hailing back to the first episode, are still in their place on the ship’s dashboard.
• Interesting to see the tables turned in the Simon/Kaylee relationship– Kaylee insults Simon by saying his sister is “not human.” It was disappointing to see Book interrupt the long-awaited kiss.
• Simon is only driven to help Early when the bounty hunter warns him that Kaylee is tied up and subject to his every whim.
• I have a feeling Early has something of the same talent River does– the way he was running his hands over nearby surfaces, the way he smelled and then licked the pole, all reminded me of River’s many odd mannerisms.
• Simon gets a lot funnier when he’s really scared.
• Beautiful shot of River floating down from the bounty hunter’s ship into Mal’s arms.
• Of course Zoe would do the messy work of sewing up the doc while Wash stands by and washes. LOVE this couple.

Quotes:
“She understands. She doesn’t comprehend.” –River, on herself
“I can’t keep track of her when she’s not incorporeally possessing a spaceship.” –Simon
“He’s really very gentle. And fuzzy. We’re becoming fast friends.” –Simon, on Early
“How come there’s a guy on board and how come you’re all of a sudden the ship?” –Mal, to River
“I tend to be putting these into people and not the other thing.” –Zoe, on removing the bullet from Simon’s wound

Jayne: So are you saying she’s a witch?
Wash: Yes, Jayne, she’s had congress with the Beast.
Jayne: She’s in Congress?

Wash: Psychic? That sounds like something out of science fiction.
Zoe: We live in a space ship, dear.

Simon: Are you Alliance?
Early: Am I a lion? Funny, I never thought of myself as a lion. But I do have a mighty roar.

Simon: You’re out of your mind.
Early: That’s between me and my mind.

Rating: 5/5. Great way to end off the show, despite the fact that it wasn’t written for that purpose. Finally got some insight into how River’s mind works. I can’t find anything wrong with this episode at all, except that I wish there was more.

A lot happened in this episode, but it was really about Inara and her relationship with Mal, and in my opinion, this was long overdue. In short, a Companion-trained acquaintance of Inara’s, Nandi, calls for her help when a customer demands his as-yet unborn child from the woman he impregnated. The crew barricade the house and put up a good defense, while Simon tries to deliver the woman’s baby. Mal’s willingness to help Inara out for no pay shows the extent of his feelings for her, but it’s clear when she emphasizes the importance of keeping to their “strictly business arrangement” that that will be a central plot in the episode. Everything that occurred this episode affected their relationship in some way.

Most significant of the aforementioned events: Mal bonds with Nandi and subsequently sleeps with her. There is so much to read from that scene. Personally, I don’t think Nandi’s resemblance to Inara is accidental, and I don’t think Mal was being entirely truthful when he reassured her, “The only people in this room are you and me.” That being said, I also think that they were just two unhappy, frightened people coming together in a time of need. Additionally, if what he said in “Our Mrs. Reynolds” still holds true, Mal hasn’t slept with anyone in a really, really long time.  Nandi was aware of his feelings for Inara, but just before she dies hints that she may not have slept with him had she known that Inara felt the same about him.

Morena Baccarin gets some fantastic material here, and she delivers. It’s the most emotion we’ve seen from Inara all season. Most notable would be her remarkably touching reaction to encountering Mal emerging from Nandi’s room hastily buttoning his shirt. I’ve noticed that Inara tends to get this glazed look in her eyes when she is hiding something, and when she is hurt she always lashes out at Mal. The same holds true here. It is very, very obvious that she does not mean what she says about being entirely comfortable about Mal sleeping with Nandi– she is holding her true feelings back. Thus, it is doubly as heartbreaking to see such a marked difference in her attitude once she is alone, two minutes later. She sinks to the floor, sobbing, and I think it is the first time we ever see her break down and just succumb to her feelings. It’s a fantastic contrast to her composed manner just a few minutes before. And later, of course, in a move that made my mouth drop open, she informs Mal that she’s decided to leave, insinuating that she’s grown too attached to him to remain on the ship. The episode ends with a beautiful shot of her face crumbling as she turns to walk away from him with another wonderfully tragic solo violin piece in the background. Mal is left stunned.

I learned something from Nandi, not just from what happened, but from her. The family she made, the strength of her love for them, it’s what kept them together. When you live with that kind of strength, you get tied to it. You can’t break away, and you never want to. There’s something – there’s something I should’ve done a long while ago. And I’m sorry, for both of us, that it took me this long. I’m leaving.

–Inara

The fact that there’s only one episode left does not give me much hope for resolution to this storyline, and that bothers me. I really want to know what happens. THANKS A LOT, FOX. YOU SUCK.

Thoughts:

• More continuity awesomeness– a callback to my favorite episode thus far, “Our Mrs. Reynolds.” Pausing after kissing Nandi, Mal says, “I’m just waiting to see if I pass out,” referencing, of course, him passing out after kissing Saffron.
• Jayne served as the comic relief for much of the episode. His glee at being surrounded by whores was hilarious. As was the shot that revealed that he sleeps with his guns, even when in bed with a girl.
• Crazy psychic River moment of the week– she says, “It’s starting!” a moment before everyone notices that the pregnant woman is going into labor.
• Speaking of River, her avid peering between the legs of the woman giving birth had me cracking up. She was so curious. “Who do you think is in there?”
• Zoe wants a baby. Wash doesn’t. If this isn’t expanded upon next episode, it’s going to be something I’ll forever wish had developed further.

Quotes:

“This distress wouldn’t happen to be taking place in anyone’s pants, would it?” –Mal
“Any friend of Inara’s is a strictly business-like relationship of mine.” –Mal
“Were I unwed, I would take you in a manly fashion. ‘Cause you’re pretty.” Wash, reassuring Kaylee
“You’re my kinda stupid.” –Mal
“This is just a moment in time. Step aside and let it happen.” –Inara

Jayne: Don’t much know these folk, don’t much care to.
Mal: They’re whores.
Jayne: I’m in.

Mal: This is my first mate, Zoë. I’ll introduce you to the rest later. They’re good folk.
Jayne: Can I start gettin’ sexed already?
Mal: Well, that one’s kinda horrific.

Jayne: Whoo! My John Thomas is about to pop off and fly around the room, there’s so much tasty in here.
Wash: Would be you get your most poetical about your pecker.

Mal: Inara? Think you can stoop to being on my arm?
Inara: Will you wash it first?

Rating: 4/5. Loads of character development, and Morena Baccarin gives her best performance of the season (due at least in part to the great writing for Inara). Enjoyed the guest stars as well.

Interesting story this time around, though rather complicated. An former soldier who had served in the war with Mal and Zoe ships his own dead body to them along with a recording asking them to return his body to his home planet. After supposed Alliance men begin pursuing Serenity, Simon begins an autopsy in an effort to find out what is so important about the body that they’d be followed, but a very much alive Tracy jumps off the table and reveals that he is smuggling internal organs. The crew formulate a plan to escape from their pursuers, but Tracy is unaware of this, grabs a gun and threatens various crew members’ lives in an effort to blackmail them into not contacting the Alliance officers. This plan miserably backfires when he gets himself shot and dies (for real this time).

I love flashbacks and so I was happy to see another one in this episode, featuring Mal, Zoe, and Tracy. While Zoe appeared just as calm, collected and badass as she is now, Mal seemed markedly different in that he was more exuberant and less disillusioned than we’ve ever seen him. The relationship between these two is one of the best on the show (I say that too much but it’s true every time!) and I love the little significant glances they stole at each other throughout the episode. It’s so refreshing to see a loving, loyal male-female relationship with no romantic overtones whatsoever. It is possible, after all!

Further progress on the Kaylee front this episode with Simon accidentally insulting her again and her brief relationship with Tracy before he dies.  Don’t know what she saw in him though– seemed to me (and the captain and Zoe, who is ALWAYS right; see last episode) he was self-centered and annoying. Either way, it served as a tidy way to make Simon jealous and to bring them together at the end (him comforting her at the funeral during the last scene was adorable). Simon’s awkward efforts at romance are so endearing, and it’s getting to be repetitive when Kaylee takes everything he says so seriously. I’m ready for something more to happen between them other than his blundering and her retreating.

Fantastic last scene– the funeral montage set to a replay of Tracy’s recording with a solo violin melody in the background was just perfect, and however much I disliked Tracy, I did feel some sadness for him. All of the characters were on point here; Mal and Zoe’s gazes never wavered; Simon was holding hands with Kaylee (a sign that they are back on good terms); even Jayne looked sad. Also, I spotted Joss Whedon playing one of the relatives! This was one of the last scenes ever shot for the series; knowing that the cast knew about the show’s cancellation made the farewell and the music even more poignant.

Thoughts:

• Jayne’s attitude towards the wonderfully absurd hat sent him by his mother was adorable. I don’t think he took it off all episode. And him struggling to read her letter was so sweet – his comment in one of the earlier episodes about never having gone to school was true, apparently. I’d love a deeper insight into his childhood.
• This episode’s obligatory weird River scene: she sprawls over the casket with her ear to the cover, apparently listening. She’s definitely psychic, but I’m ready for some real answers.
• Love the episode continuity– this one starts off with Mal arguing with Inara over her helping to fence the gadget thing they stole in the last episode.
• While usually TV special effects aren’t much good, particularly on sci-fi shows (see: Heroes), the shots of Serenity being chased by the Alliance vessel were breathtaking.
• Wash’s piloting is a wonder to behold.
• Jayne was so frightened by Tracy appearing to come back from the dead– even after things had calmed down, he didn’t even want to go near the guy. He looked genuinely disturbed.

Quotes:

“Oh my god it’s grotesque! Oh, and there’s something in a jar.” –Wash
“My food is problematic.” –River (must remember to incorporate this one in regular conversation)
“How’s it sit? Pretty cunning, dontcha think?” –Jayne, on his hat
“What’d y’all order a dead guy for?” –Jayne
“Don’t strain your brain trying. You might break something.” –Mal, to Jayne
“Zoe got married? Next you’ll be telling me she smiles…. has emotions.” –Tracy

Tracy: When you can’t run, you crawl. And when you can’t crawl–
Zoe: You find someone to carry you.

Zoe: First rule of battle, little one? Don’t let ‘em know where you are. [Mal comes running in, firing wildly and yelling at the top of his lungs] ….Of course, there are other schools of thought.

Rating: 4/5. Great story, good character development. Not much wrong with this one except I couldn’t stand Tracy, and I’m pretty sure that was intentional. The music especially stood out here. Will definitely be downloading the soundtrack.

Saffron returns, strongly reinforcing my already strong opinion that she should have been a regular on this show since “Our Mrs. Reynolds.” Fantastic actress playing a fantastic character. We learn in this episode that Saffron has many husbands, each of which she has ruthlessly stolen from and then abandoned. Mal’s meeting her this episode is purely coincidental (she’s married one of his old friends from the war) but they end up teaming up for a job, though, inevitably, she betrays him at the end.

The plot of this one was structured like a heist, but unlike the previous “heist” episode, “Ariel,” this one was redeemed by Saffron and her interactions with Mal, despite the similarly weak story.  Despite the fact that there is no love lost between these two, I actually think they’d make a great couple. The sexual tension was definitely there, and they do work well together. Saffron would make a great addition to the crew if they came to a Jayne-like agreement in terms of payment, and I just wish she’d been there all along. Her crazy adds so much to the crew’s dynamic and I loved watching them all, especially Mal, try to deal with her.

There was also a long-overdue confrontation between Simon and Jayne about the betrayal on Ariel (another connection between that episode and this), but Simon chose not to take revenge in a rather brilliant little monologue, which I reproduce in all its glory here:

You’re in a dangerous line of work, Jayne. Odds are you’ll be under my knife again, often. So I want you to understand one thing very clearly: No matter what you do or say or plot, no matter how you come down on us, I will never, ever harm you. You’re on this table, you’re safe… ’cause I’m your medic. And however little we may like or trust each other, we’re on the same crew. Got the same troubles, same enemies, and more than enough of both. Now, we could circle each other and growl, sleep with one eye open, but that thought wearies me. I don’t care what you’ve done, I don’t know what you’re planning on doing, but I’m trusting you. I think you should do the same. ‘Cause I don’t see this working any other way.

To which River added shiftily, “Also, I can kill you with my brain.” And then I laughed, and then I was all, “Wait, what?” Plus, Jayne’s look of horror here is gold.

Thoughts:

• Wonderful opening shot of naked Mal. This alone should have won over at least a few (million) more viewers.
• I want to meet whoever does Inara’s gorgeous makeup each episode.
• Speaking of which, Inara saving the day (finally!) was great to see.
• Mal needs to learn that Zoe is ALWAYS RIGHT. Thus far she has never been wrong about anything. Whenever Mal ignores her advice, he ends up in trouble. Kind of like Harry and Hermione in the Harry Potter novels.
• Minor quibble: how did they reprogram the garbage disposal without being spotted?
• Mal’s sense of chivalry is going to be his downfall. This is why he continually falls for Saffron’s manipulations.
• Love that Inara doesn’t once look down while talking to naked Mal. She does, however, sneak a furtive glance at his butt as he walks away.

Quotes:

“I SHAVED OFF MY BEARD FOR YOU, DEVIL WOMAN!” –Mal’s friend
“Jayne is a girl’s name.” –River
“I’m trying to think of a way for you to be cruder, but it’s just… not coming.” –Simon
“Brilliant. Except it’s idiotic.” –Saffron
“Did you think I was a princess? That I would stay locked up here in the tower? With you? You’re a rudding fool.” –Saffron
“I hate to bring up our imminent arrest during your CRAZY TIME, but we gotta go!” –Mal
“I’ve seen you without your clothes on before. Never thought I’d see you naked.” –Mal

Saffron: You missed a spot.
Mal: [shoves her away] Can’t miss a place you’ve never been!

Saffron: He’s my husband.
Mal: Well, who in the damn galaxy AIN’T?

Rating: 4.5/5. Love the return of Saffron. Very solid writing. Great acting; Nathan Fillion and Christina Hendricks shone in particular. Probably should’ve been a 4/5, but had to give extra points for the naked Mal scene.

“The Torture Episode” is what my friend called this episode. She wasn’t lying. I feel like I need to wash my eyes out and then see a really, really cheesy Disney movie to get these images out of my head.

Wash, having grown jealous of Zoe’s relationship with Mal, decides to replace her and accompany Mal himself outside the ship to sell the goods they’d stolen in the previous episode. Instead, the two are kidnapped by Niska, wanting payback for them abandoning their agreement back in episode two, “The Train Job.” While in that episode I thought Niska was a great villain, I had no idea how freaking insane the man would turn out to be. The torture scenes were brutal and although I have a pretty high tolerance for on-screen violence, this was really too much. It ruined my enjoyment of the entire episode, which is a shame because there were so many great things about it.

Surprises abounded: Book showed just how well he can fire a gun (still waiting for answers on his past), and River SHOT THREE MEN WITHOUT EVEN LOOKING. What the? Even Kaylee was a bit freaked out by that– she couldn’t meet River’s eyes during the last scene.

I have to admit, the way the writers used the torture scenes to get out all of the tension between Mal and Wash regarding Zoe was genius, and I loved how Mal actually tried to go through with his pledge to sleep with Zoe. I can see Mal with any other female character, but him with Zoe? It even looked absurd. The actors played it perfectly… hilarious.

Thoughts:

• Zoe continues to be a badass. Loved how she chose to rescue Wash over Mal without even hesitating.
• The opening scene featuring just Simon and Book made me realize how few scenes the two of them have together. They’re almost polar opposites – man of science, man of faith, much like Jack and Locke on LOST. Would love to see more interaction between these two.
• Jayne feels guilty about what he did last episode – he shared his apples with the crew. Awww.
• Summer Glau may be the best actor on the show.
• Jayne and Book seem to be growing closer– Jayne was spotting Book weightlifting. Ha!

Quotes:

Book: Got your next heist planned?
Simon: No, but I’m thinking of growing a big black mustache. I’m a traditionalist.

“Ah, the pitter patter of tiny feet and huge combat boots…. SHUT UP.” –Mal
“One of you is going to fall and die and I’m not going to clean it up!” –Mal
“I am a large, semi-muscular man. I can take it.” –Wash
“I’ll be in my bunk.” –Jayne
“I’ve been a firefight before! Well, I was in a fire. Actually, I was fired. From a fry-cook opportunity.” –Wash
“Take me sir. Take me hard.” Zoe, to Mal

Mal: There’s plenty of orders that [Zoe] didn’t obey.
Wash: Name one!
Mal: She married you!

Wash: Screw you!
Mal: Get in line!

Zoe: This is something the captain has to do for himself.
Mal: NO IT’S NOT!

Simon: I’d never shot anyone before.
Book: I was there. I’m fair sure you haven’t shot anyone YET.

“No power in the verse can stop me.” –River

Rating: 3/5. Too much torture. Saved by the snappy writing and Zoe being awesome.

If the last episode was the best episode so far, this one is definitely the worst of them (though, to be honest, even this is better than half the stuff on TV these days). I watched it yesterday but wanted to wait a bit to see if after some time had passed I’d think differently. Unfortunately, I don’t. Even the episode title is unoriginal. Here’s why:

The plot was so awfully predictable. If I wanted to watch a good heist movie, I’d rent “Ocean’s Eleven.” The crew raid an Alliance hospital. Half the episode is spent planning it and the other half executing it. They run into some trouble, escape, and everyone gets away happy. I can’t really think of anything truly accomplished by this episode. Simon got to do some kind of brain scan on River, but we (the viewers) learned nothing new, only the obvious fact that her brain has been tampered with. The crew stole valuable medicine to sell later. I was really hoping that some new information on River would be revealed – it’s been too long since any revelation was made about her and it looks like there’s more waiting ahead. Come on, writers – it’s been nine episodes! I need something!

What was interesting about the story was the fact that Jayne finally went rogue. There was a short exchange in one of the previous episodes where Mal asks Jayne what would happen if the money he was paid became not good enough, and Jayne answered that in that case, they’d all have to watch their backs. Well, here’s where that actually happened, and the results weren’t pretty. Jayne sold out Simon and River to the Alliance, got them all captured, and then chickened out when he realized he might not be getting the payment he’d been promised. He ended up helping them escape, but Mal knew the traitor was Jayne, which led to a fantastic little scene towards the end when Mal locked Jayne out of the cargo bay, trapping him between the doors and the open sky. The captain took the betrayal very personally, but eventually accepted Jayne’s apology, though I wonder if said apology was truly heartfelt.

Thoughts:

• River IS getting worse. Slashing Jayne with a knife went a little too far. I wonder if she saw what he was going to do to them later on in this episode.
• Best scene: Mal, Zoe, and Jayne trying to remember their paramedic alibis. Three people who are so very good at their real jobs utterly failing at even pronouncing medical terminology correctly. HA.
• “Two by two, hands of blue” – while these two blue-gloved men were shown in a previous episode, it is only in this one that we finally see what they can do, and it is creepy. They use some kind of fold-out device that makes people bleed out of every crevice in their bodies. Yuck.
• It was great to see Simon as a doctor. He really is good at his job, as evidenced by his saving a patient from some poor incompetent.
• What happened to Book?

Quotes:
“Can you not do that when we’re…. ever?” –Simon
“If I wanted schooling, I’d have gone to school.” –Jayne
“You turn on ANY of my crew, you turn on ME.” –Mal
“The next time you decide to stab me in the back, have the guts to do it to my face.” –Mal

Rating: 2.5/5. When you can skip an episode and not know the difference, it’s not a good episode. This one does nothing for the overall story and the plot was dull and uninspired. Saved only by the merits of the fantastic cast and the great dialogue.

It’s weird rereading my blog post from last week on “Jaynestown,” because compared to this episode, that one seems so insignificant. “Out of Gas” took everything to the next level. We learn  so much more about each character and a lot about the history of Serenity. Finally!

The plot was pretty simple. Some part of the ship breaks down, there’s no life support, and Mal sends the crew off in the ship’s two shuttles, in the hopes that they can reach help or survive longer, since the shuttles have more oxygen. Mal (being, as always, the tortured hero) remains with the ship. The brilliance of the episode was not in this, though; it was how the story was structured. The episode opened with a jarring shot of Serenity: empty, abandoned and dimly lit. There’s a crash as Mal falls into the frame, onto the grating on the floor, and the viewer instantly knows that something is wrong with both him and the ship. As Mal’s gaze shifts to the doors, the scene subtly shifts to a flashback, where he and Zoe are entering the ship for the first time, and finally, finally we get some insight into how the crew was assembled.

While the story-line in the present (Mal trying to save the ship) moves slowly, it facilitates a huge amount of information conveyed in flashbacks. The transitions are seamless. We learn that Wash had a mustache when he was hired, and that Zoe didn’t like him at first (probably because of the mustache). We learn that Kaylee was hired after she was found having sex with the original (rather annoying) mechanic on the floor of the engine room, because she singlehandedly solved a problem with the ship that had kept them grounded for a week. Jayne was swayed to Serenity’s side when Mal and Zoe, being held at gunpoint by the mercenary, offered him more money. And we learn, unsurprisingly, that Inara and Mal have never gotten along.

All of this worked because “Out of Gas” wasn’t about Mal or the crew or any one character. It was about the ship. Serenity was almost a character in this episode, and the individual stories of the crew were a backdrop to how the ship has come from then to now, and influenced the lives of those who ride her. This is more than anything proven by the last scene: a flashback featuring Mal standing and smiling at Serenity, knowing he’s found the ship he’s been looking for.

Thoughts:

• It would seem Zoe’s always called Mal “sir,” as evidenced by the flashback where she is no longer serving under him in the war, but still hasn’t joined the crew of the ship. She’s devoted to him. Their relationship is fascinating.
• Mal’s hair looked way better in the past.
• Simon’s a terrible storyteller.
• In the background of Simon’s birthday scene – Mal has to slap Jayne’s hand away from the cake. HA.
• The entire crew was shocked when Zoe got hurt. She always seems so indestructible and strong. It’s jarring to see her lying on the table in the medical ward.
• Inara supported unification (which seems to mean she was a supporter of the Alliance, as opposed to the side Mal was on). Why?
• Zoe is always saving the captain’s ass. If she hadn’t convinced everyone to return to the ship, Mal would probably be dead.
• River yet again shows signs of psychic ability. She muttered “Fire,” an instant before a huge ball of fire cascaded down the hallway towards them.

Quotes:

“You paid money for this? On purpose?” –Zoe, on Serenity
“Sick people are HI-larious.” –Jayne
“I don’t like him.” –Zoe, on Wash
“Always thought the name Serenity had a vaguely funereal sound to it.” –Simon
“You want me. You want me… on your ship.” –Inara
“Everybody dies alone.” –Mal
“You all gonna be here when I wake up?” –Mal

Rating: 5/5. Different enough in tone from the other episodes that it seems like a different show, but that’s hardly a bad thing. Best ‘serious’ episode so far. Pacing and structure made this feel like a feature film. So good I can’t see how the actual feature film could top this.

I’m running out of synonyms for the word “amazing.” Time to get out the thesaurus. The show continues its awesome streak with “Jaynestown,” where the crew, visiting an outer planet, discovers that its inhabitants worship Jayne as some kind of folk hero. They’ve built a statue in his likeness and have even written a (rather catchy) song about him; problem is, Jayne doesn’t deserve this fame and they all know it. The ambassador sends some dude Jayne pushed out of a shuttle after him and it all culminates in a big showdown where one of Jayne’s devotees dies taking a bullet for him. I’ve been waiting for a Jayne-centric episode for a while and this one did not disappoint. However block-headed Jayne appears, he does have a heart and that man dying for him rattled him. Adam Baldwin was wonderful in portraying Jayne’s confusion that he could mean that much to someone. The last line of the episode was his– “Don’t make no sense.” Since nothing means that much to Jayne, he is perplexed by the passion that the people of this planet feel for him. And I am of the opinion that somewhere deep down, in that empty place where there may or may not be a heart, it affected him.

Also featured in this episode: Simon’s extremely potent sarcastic streak! I never realized how funny the man could be until this ep. It seems to come out especially when Jayne is around. His expression when they all noticed the statue and again when they heard “Jayne’s Song” was dumbstruck and on the verge of laughter at the same time and just laugh-out-loud funny. Best part of the episode hands down. “This must be what going mad feels like!”

And this episode’s River crazy/funny scene: River fixing Book’s bible. “So we’ll integrate non-progressional evolution theory with God’s creation of Eden – eleven inherent metaphoric parallels already there… eleven, important number, prime number, one goes into the house of eleven eleven times but always comes out one…. Noah’s Ark is a problem – we’ll have to call it early quantum-state phenomenon. Only way to fit five thousand species of mammal on the same boat.” What is going on in her head? Looking forward to finding out more.

Thoughts:

• River frightened of Book’s (big and scary-looking) hair– HA. I empathize with Book. My hair looks like that some mornings too.
• Progress on the Kaylee/Simon front: she is frustrated that he feels the need to be “proper,” but at this point, that’s all he has to cling to. He’s lost everything else. It was sweet how Mal let them be together in the pub even though he needed Kaylee for something else. His relationship with her is unlike his with anyone else in the crew– kind of a father/daughter dynamic. I like it.
• Inara’s subplot felt oddly out of place. Yes, she subtly influenced the ambassador’s son so they were able to leave at the end, but the whole thing was pretty much unnecessary.
• LOVE the closing accoustic version of Jayne’s Song. Need MP3 now.

Awesome quotes:
“You’re like a trained ape. Without the training.” –Simon
“Jayne? You wanna tell me how come there’s a statue of you here lookin’ at me like I owe him something?” –Mal
“You don’t fix faith, River. It fixes you.” –Book
“We gotta go to the crappy town where I’m a hero!” –Wash
“River, honey? He’s putting the hair away now.” –Zoe
“You guys had a riot? On account of me? My very own riot!” –Jayne
“You think there’s someone just gonna drop money on ya? Money they can use? Well, there ain’t people like that. There’s just people like me.” –Jayne

Rating: 4.5/5. Near perfect. Additional insight into Jayne’s character, great writing, and a really awesome new song that will get stuck in my head for a while.